Wow have I been busy this week. Work is a little crazy which means I don’t have as much time to read and write (or play how ever you want to put it) on the computer. But I have a minuet and thought I would take this time to make a little post.
First I want to pat myself on the back. I have dropped 9lbs in the last two weeks. This makes me so excited. I want to lose 20 to 25 total so I am on my way there. I have to admit that it really makes me feel good to see that scale drop. I am now back at the weight I was when I started trying for another child after Kirstin. When I got PG with Gavin I was 10lbs heavier since I had at that point already had two previous PGs back to back. And it feels good to finally get that last 10lbs off. Now onto the next 10lbs.
This last week I have been having one of what I call my off weeks. Those are the weeks that just creep up on me and I miss Emma more then ever. She has been on my mind so much the last few days. And to make matters worse Kirstin was screaming at me last night to take her to see Emma’s grave. When I told her it was too late and she was too far to go to this late she just began to cry. So of course that just really broke my heart. Here is my child wanting to go visit her sister and I can’t take her there at 8:00pm at night. It should not have to be this way. She should be here so Kirstin could have grown up with her. Instead she gets to ask me to take her to see her grave and hope that it is not to late at night. I’m pretty sure I know the answer but I have to ask it. Does this ever get any easier? I told her that we would go and visit her this weekend. And this time I will make sure to bring more flowers so that Kirstin can give flowers to all the other little babies.
Well my short little break is over and I must get back to work. I hope next week is not so busy but I doubt it with it being end of the quarter.
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2 comments:
Congrats on the weight loss! Terrific!!!!
I am sorry about Emma and your hurting hearts.
God bless!
Sabin
I am so sorry that I didn't see this post earlier. That is just a heartbreaking story about Kirstin. Of course, Kirstin should have her sister with her, not being able to only visit Emma's grave.
I have to say, though, that sad as it is, this story does show how much you've done to establish a bond betwen Kirstin and Emma. I think it says a lot, both for you and for Kirstin, that she wants to visit Emma. You're being a good mother to both of your daughters -- and also helping to remember and care for all the other babies that Kirstin will be giving flowers to.
Dropping 9 lbs in two weeks is a fantastic achievement. Losing weight is really one of the hardest things to do. You definitely should be proud of yourself.
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