A little bit of everything

I have not updated on my kids here in so long. I have decided that I am going to write more in my blog about everything.

Gavin is now 13 months old. After being so behind with his motor skills he is starting to catch up. He did not crawl on his hands and knees until he was 11-1/2 months old. But just last week he started doing some walking on his own. It’s not much, he still prefers to crawl but I am so happy that he has showed me that he can walk if he chooses to. As for his swim lessons those did not go over so well. It seems that the only thing we did was make him afraid of the water. So we will try again next year when his is older. I told Tom we should have waited until he was 2 like we did with Kirstin but he would not hear of it. So now I have to work with him so he is does not throw a fit when we take him in the pool.

At his 15 month check-up his doc. will make the final decision on if he needs to see the urologist about his testicals. I think he will since they don’t drop down very often. I just hope it does not turn into him having to have surgery. The Doc. decided to wait until his 15 months check-up since there were starting to come down some of the time. We are both hoping that they will fully drop by then.

Kirstin is doing great and making me so sad at the same time. She is getting so big I just want time to stand still. I can’t remember what I said to her the other night, but it had something to do with me not wanting her to grow up. What I do remember her response to me. She said “its ok mommy I have to grow up”. Yes she does have to grow up but why so darn fast.

We took the family on an extended weekend to the beach and boy was that something. Gavin was not happy about this little vacation. Not sure what threw him off but we won’t be trying that again until he is a little older. He just did not like anything. He cried so bad we finally took him back to my parents while we finished out the weekend. He was happy once he was out of that hotel.

I have been wondering how Emma’s birthday is going to go this year. Last year nobody wanted to go and visit her with me. So I went with just Gavin. Maybe this year others will go with me. I don’t mind going alone but it would be nice to know that other people miss her too and want to wish her a happy birthday. I just wish so badly she was here to wish her a happy birthday. God I miss her so much! What I would not give to hold her again. To see what she would have looked like. What color her eyes would have been. That is one thing I did not get to see was her eyes. They were still fussed shut. I would have loved to have been able to look into her eyes.

Kirstin still talks about her all the time. I thought as the years go by that she would fade from Kirstin’s memory since she was so young while I was pregnant with her. But so far that memory has not faded in Kirstin’s mind. She still makes things and tells me they are for Emma. She still asks me if she can see her one day. That is the hard one having to tell her no she will never be able to see her. This affected Kirstin more then I ever thought it would. A few months ago Kirstin reveled to me that she was scared when I was in the hospital because she thought I would not come home like Emma did not come home. So my child is now afraid of hospitals.

Ok this has turned into a really long post so I will stop here. I really do have a lot on my mind regarding Kirstin and having babies. I think I screwed her up in that department a little. But I will save that post for another day. I just hope with all my heart that my children do go though the same things I have to get their family. But sadly it just might be in the cards for them. But I am thankful I will be able to understand and comfort them knowing how they feel first hand.