Monday, July 9, 2007

Meme from the baby loss directory

I was over at the baby loss directory and decided to do the meme that msfitzita posted. She had some very good questions in there. So here is my meme.

1.What do you want people to know about the child (or children) you have lost? What I want people to know the most about the Children I have lost is how much they were planed and wanted. I want them to know that I loved them from the day I found out they existed. And their loss has changed who I am.

2. What names did you give (or plan to give) your children and why? My two living children are Kirstin and Gavin. No reason for these just the husband and I agreed on them. As for Emma Grace I gave her that name because it sounded peaceful to me. And what I wanted for her was to be at peace. I never named my two miscarriages.

3. What rituals or ways of memorializing your children seem to best help you cope with their loss? To remember Emma I have a place in the house that has a picture of her along with Items gave to me after her passing. Along with these things is a basket with her tiny hat and blanket that was over her at her viewing.

4. What are the kindest and/or most helpful things people have said to you? What are the worst? The one thing that sticks in my head is the most hurtful comment that was made to me by my husband’s mother at Emma’s funeral. As we stood over Emma she told me “you know this was for the best and it is ok to have an only child”. The most helpful thing anybody said to me was "be kind to yourself”.

5. Who is your hero? Who helps you make it through the dark days better than anyone else on the planet? My hero is my best friend. All though she has never lost a child she knows when to be quit and just let me talk. She does her best to try and understand. But will also admit that there is now way she will ever fully understand.

6. Is there anything you need to say or want to say but haven't been able to? Can you say it now? Yes there is something on my mind. But I have not gotten the nerve to say it to anybody. So for now I will keep it to myself.

7. How are you doing? How are you really doing? As you can see from my last post I am doing all right. So much better then in the past. I have started to picture happy days and even plan for them.


babyhopes said...

what a great post. Thanks so much for sharing and I am so happy that you are finding an outlet to express yourself and be comfortable. Big Huge HUG!

Aurelia said...

This is a really good meme, I have to admit. What would you like to say? Can you say it to me only?