Wednesday, August 1, 2007

I miss my kids, my neighbor won't listen and Gavin is a walker

So how is that for a long title.

Well so far this week has been crazy just like I thought it would. Monday and Tuesday I had to go right from one job to another. The worst part was not getting to see my kids on those days. By the time I got home they were in bed. I don’t know how divorced people with children do it. I don’t think I could go weeks at a time without seeing my kids. Hell it has only been two days I have not seen them and I am hating it. But tonight and tomorrow I have time to go home before I have to be there. And then Friday I don’t work during the day so I have all day with them before I go in that night. I am hoping that I don’t have to work this second job very long. We just have a few bills we still need to get paid off. I am also going to use this extra money for Christmas. No charging on the credit cards this year. That is one reason we are a little behind right now. With all the medical bills last year we did not really have money for Christmas so I charged most of it. But not this year.

I spoke to my neighbor yesterday and she has not taken my advice. She is still just going about her normal life hoping her Doctor will call if her 24 hour came back positive and not make her wait. But I told her again no to depend on her Doctor he sounds like a quack. I told her to take charge of her medical care and either demand the results before next month or go back to the hospital. She is still getting very high BP readings when she takes her BP. I know with myself it took 4 weeks from the time I had a slightly high reading for it to become pre-e. But my BP was not nearly as high at that point as hers is right now. It was when I had BP readings as high as hers that I had went from PIH to Pre-E. I don’t really thinks she understand how bad this could end up being. I mean her Doctor has not even suggested NST’s. Once my BP when up my Doctor Started NST’s twice a week. I wish I had the stomach to be a Doctor. I would become an OB/GYN and do my best to give all mothers and babies the best chance possible. Doctors like hers just make me mad.

And on a happy note I now have a Full Fledged Walker. Gavin no longer crawls at all. He started this about a week ago. And I just have to say it is the cueist thing to watch. I admit that there are days I do get sad watching him reach his milestones and thinking about what I missed out on with Emma. But it still makes me smile to watch him do new things and get such a proud look on his face. But this has been one of the hardest things also. Watching and knowing all that I did not get to see Emma do these things. There are days I can almost imagine what the look on her face would have been when doing these things. But that is all I can do is imagine.

Ok I guess that did not turn into such a happy note so I will end my post here.

2 comments:

kirabaker said...

Yay Gavin! How exciting!

-Kira

niobe said...

Your neighbor is an idiot, but I suppose there's only so much you can do. Does she have a husband who might listen to reason?

Reading what you wrote about Gavin, I thought that, after you lose a baby, so many good things are darkened by the fact that your baby isn't there for them. I wonder if it ever goes away.