It seems that My Birthday ='s Bad Things

So Yesterday was my Birthday and I ate so much junk! I had brought salad for my lunch yesterday and had planed on trying to start eating better to drop the 10lbs I want to lose. But since it was my Birthday my Boss took me to lunch and I ate a huge hamburger and then had cake back at the office. And let’s just say I ate more the one piece. Then after dinner at home Tom and Kirstin pulled out and Ice Cream Cake so I had a huge piece of that also. So I believe that yesterday I had all the fat and calories that I need for the week.

I did a first this weekend for myself I actually spent my Birthday gift cards on myself. Usually I feel bad buying for myself and end up buying for the kids. But this year I forced myself to spend the money on me. I did have some guilt but it was nice to get some new clothes. I don’t know why I have such a hard time spending on myself but I always feel like I have done something wrong when I do.

I guess my Birthday was as good as it could be. My birthdays always seem to have something go wrong on or around them. In 2002 it was finding out my First baby was dead on my Birthday. In 2003 my house got broke into on the night of my Birthday. In 2004 it was Hur.ric.ane Ch.ar.lie. Then in 2005 it was giving birth to Emma 9 days before my Birthday. And last year I was still so upset from Emma’s first year since she had been gone I could care less. And this year it was my father being in the hospital.

Those of you have read my blog since I had the other one know my father is not well. He got put in the hospital last Friday. He was pretty bad off and was placed in the progressive care unit. While he was there they of course ran all kinds of test on him. He was informed yesterday that they found in area in his neck by his ear that might be Ca.nc.er. So he now has to go and have a bi.op.sy done on the no.dul.e that they found. If it is cancer he can not have any surgery done on him because of his Im.phy.sema and I know that my father will opt not to have any kind of Ch.e.mo or Ra.d.ati.on Treatment. So we must now cross our fingers and hope that is not C.an.cer. But my gut tells me to be ready for not so good news. But this also means that my father has to follow though and go and see the Doctor to get a Bi.op.sy. And one thing my father is bad about is going to the Doctor and Following though. He has the attitude that if it is cancer there is nothing that can be done so why waste his time going to the Doctor. So I guess we will have to see what he does.

So one more Birthday down on year older and one more bad thing to remember on my Birthday. I think we should just take my Birthday off the calendar.