Friday, September 7, 2007

I can't out run fear, it always seems to find me

I tend not to write about things in hopes that they just don’t become an issue that I ever need to write or talk about. I have been having some concerns about Kirstin for a little bit that she might be having problems with her sugar levels. I spoke to her Doctor about it at her 4 year check up and she told me to keep an eye on it and bring her back if I needed to. Well I took her today to talk to the Doctor and get a scrip to have some blood work done. We go Monday morning for a fasting blood sugar and a urine dip. I hope with all my heart that it all comes back fine but I don’t see that happening.

See for the last week I have started testing her sugar levels at home with my monitor. She has not been in the diabetic range but the pre-diabetic range which is still not good. The only good thing is if she is pre-diabetic there is a good chance we can get a handle on this and maybe stop it in its track. But how hard is all of this going to be on her.

Personally I don’t feed her a lot of sweets and junk but everybody else does. I have been asking my parents for years now to stop letting her eat all that junk that she eats at their house. They have her a lot since they keep her while we work. Never once have they listened to me. But now that this has all come up they are finally willing to listen to me and make some changes at their house. And I some what hold them accountable for some of this. For example last week I go there to pick up the kids and my mom tells me “they are probably not hungry they have been eating cookies all afternoon.” I lost it on her, why does she let them do things like that. She knows better but yet she lets them gorge on sweets at her house. I have watched my father walk up to them at 7:00am when they are dropped off and give them candy or cookies. Why has this even had to be a fight with them? I made the decision to tell them that if at any point from here on out they are not willing to work with me on this they can no longer keep my children. This is serious and I hope they realize how serious this is.

Then there is Gavin. I have written once in the past about his testicals not coming all the way down. His doctor wanted to give it until his 15 months check up. Well we also had his 15 month check up today and we got a referral to see a urologist. I am just hoping with all hope that he will not have to have surgery.

This all makes me so sad and angry. I have already had to fight my ass off to get these kids here shouldn’t I get a free pass on their health. Why can’t it just be easy for once? I don’t want my kids to have any kind of problems. I want them to be healthy and not have to worry. It seems that the fear I had while trying to get them hear healthy does not get to leave. But now I just get to fear what might be. It seems I always have something to be afraid of and I am just tired of being afraid.

3 comments:

niobe said...

It seems like your parents refuse to understand that this isn't a question of you just preferring that Kirstin not eat candy -- it's an important medical issue. I don't understand how they could just not care about their granddaughter's health.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with these kind of concerns for both Kirstin and Gavin. You're absolutely right. It's just another example of the world's unfairness.

kirabaker said...

I think you're taking the right approach with your parents. If they are not able to see the kids maybe they will realize how serious this is. I hope you get good news for both kids!

-Kira

Rosepetal said...

I hope you get good news on both of them too. And I hope the message gets through to your parents. Maybe you could pick up some leaflets from your doctor's office. Sometimes people don't listen to you but will listen to someone else. (My DH does that quite often.)