So I have come to a decision on what to do about my Dr. I am going to wait until my appt. on the 23rd to talk to him. That will only be a month and half since my last lab work. I will tell him I will meet him half way. He wants to wait 3 months but I am willing to wait the month and a half. I will tell him to do my labs again on the 23rd. If my viral load is going down at that point I will wait the rest of the 3 months. But if the lab work comes back showing an increase I will tell him I want to start treatment now. But if he is not willing to meet half way then I guess I will need to start looking for a new Dr. The only problem I have with that is by the time I have a new Dr. and get in to see them and get my new labs back I will probably be at the 3 month mark. So that little bit right there has me also going back a forth on looking for the new Dr. This all just sucks so badly. But to be honest I don’t see why the Dr. would not meet me half way.
And I don’t know why but I have a really good feeling that my next labs are going to come back pretty good. I just hope I am not setting myself up for disappointment. It is just so hard to not get my hopes up when I read all the research about clearing this thing on my own. I meet all the specs on people who have cleared it on their own. I mean not all do but most of the people who got as bad as I did during the acute phase of this disease had spontaneous clearance. So why couldn’t I be one of those people. It is just driving me crazy to not have any new lab work and know for sure what the hell is going on with my body. It is a damn good thing this Dr. is out of town or I would be driving him up the wall.
The not knowing really is the hardest part of all of this. I mean I feel great now but that really dose not mean a damn thing. With this stupid thing you can feel great and still have the disease. This thing eats at your body slowly and you have no clue you are even sick. I was just a small percentage of people who got lucky enough to have sings when it all started. Most are not that lucky and have no clue they have this virus eating away at them. I am truly lucky to have gotten so sick and catch it when I did. But I also wonder sometimes if knowing is worse then not knowing.
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2 comments:
Wow Annisa...I haven't checked in for a few weeks and so much has happened! My advice about the new dr. is get a second opinion now. Why wait to see what dr. #1 says on the 23rd? If you can get into another dr. soon, then you'll be armed with both opinions around the same time, and can then make a more informed decison. Just my
$.02! Best of luck to you! I'm thinking positive thoughs!!!
I'm just shocked to see that you've been battling with this disease. I often forget to check private blogs because they don't show up on google reader and I feel terrible that I've missed this.
It sounds like an awful situation with no clear answers. Obviously, I'm hoping and praying that it will clear up on its own. But I agree with you that three months seems an awfully long time to wait, especially since your research shows that the sooner you start treatment, the more likely the treatment is to be effective.
I don't have any answers, but I'm thinking of you.
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